We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Reggie can tackle my bush.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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