Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
