I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
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