no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I am listening to Jack Johnson and wearing the sweater your Mother made me fuck mother nature I am in my happy place right now
Randomize
