porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Randomize
