I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
