but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
I fell out of my bed whilst trying not to move this morning. I AM ADULT
I had ice cream for breakfast two days in a row.
SUPER ADULTS
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
Randomize
