Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
