You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
