I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Randomize
