Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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