high people should be assigned attendants
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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