i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Housekeeping called in a homicide detective. Just spent an hour explaining that we had vigorous hotel vacation sex five times, even though I was having a heavy flow day. It'll definitely be what you call a memorable honeymoon.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
