In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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