I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
You can't just leave with hair like that
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
so it turns out that when you ride the subway drunk at 5 am you wake up with a sailor in your bed
Randomize
