If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
I came so hard my ears popped.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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