For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
