After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Think about if the incredible hulk and king kong had a retarded baby. That's the sound she made in my ear the entire time I fucked her.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
Randomize
