dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
My niece just threw up all over me. My sister's breastmilk was on my face. This is like a fucked-up porno gone terribly wrong.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
