Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
You know it was a good dinner party when one of the guests broke their finger and no one can remember how it happened.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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