I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
Randomize