My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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