Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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