do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
This is my gift to your gina
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
Randomize
