do herpes really smell.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
