i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
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