I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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