I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
That's because I've spent the past 21 years convincing my parents the only emotions I have are sarcasm and bitterness.
Randomize
