well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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