i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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