Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
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Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
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I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
One of the worst parts about living at my parents again is trying to hide how often I'm hungover, just quietly puked in the basement bathroom while my mom got ready for work
I touched a dick in church today
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
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