I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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