More tranny stories later!
new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
