i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize
