you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
I'm the kind of girl who misses her mouth when trying to eat, do you honestly think I'm coordinated enough to wear heels during sex?
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Randomize
