u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
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