Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I believe in your delicious
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Dicks are not precious.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
