I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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