question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
