$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
