it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i think i have herpe
just one?
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
