Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I need water and some morals
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Randomize
