i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
The party theme was heirs and heiress's. Most guys came in polo shirts but he came as the "arch duke of vagina".
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
