It was confusing and full of hummus
bring money and cleavage
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
