So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
