bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Randomize