How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
