He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She's just so happy...and so naked.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There are two guys dressed like Spartans from 300 at this bar and they're making out and I needed you to know this
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
True college students do jello shots in the library
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
