How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Idk. Last year there was an ice luge, glow in the dark jungle juice, and lots of naked people. I feel like I'll get pregnant just thinking about going to that party.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
