he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
She even gives head with a lisp.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
