I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Randomize