Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
