home. puking in laundry basket.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
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