You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Randomize
