My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
