Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize