i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
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