Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
