Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I want to see you every morning in the kitchen ass naykid on roller blades making pancakes.
Stop sending me these texts. This is your mom, not your girlfriend.
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
She was into my hawaiian shirt and id never made out with a dinosaur... I feel like it worked out for everyone
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
