At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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