You don't have asthma, your pregnant
haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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