i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
Randomize
