no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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