when did we get to this "texting at random" level on friendship?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
Randomize