I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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